The Damaged Mind
by Kat-Ivu
Summary: After an assassination attempt and a distressing confrontation with Being X Tanya's mental stability starts to deteriorate that only those close to her can try to snap her out of. Will Tanya ever go back to her original self? (I'm currently rewriting the earlier chapters of the story, it will have no changes story-wise, just hopefully it's a better read. Latest is Chapter 2)
1. Chapter 1

(Note-This is a rewrite, more info at bottom of page)

Imperial Barracks, Rhine Theater, Unified Year 1925

Tanya smiled in content as her adjutant had placed down her coffee on the desk, giving a small "Thank you." in reply as she took a sip of the mug's holy content.

She quickly dismissed her Lieutenant and soaked in the utter bliss of a quiet peaceful morning.

"Honestly, it seems coffee is the only thing keeping me sane anymore. At least that false God Being X didn't put me in a world without cocoa beans, if that were the case I think I would have given in long ago." She thought quietly.

She stood up and stretched her arms before taking her documents and making way out of her office. "Not to give you any ideas of course."

Tanya slowly made her way over to the Dining Hall where her battalion were currently enjoying themselves after the recent 'defeat' of the Francois, while she would have loved to celebrate while she could with them it seems that the higher ups had other ideas.

She stood at the door and scanned the room until she had found her forever-loyal Lieutenant Weiss.

Weiss quickly spotted her and offered a salute. "Good Evening Major."

"Ja, and you Lieutenant." Tanya dismissed. "The Battalion has been given a new set of orders." Weiss' face turned from a disappointing frown into a rejoiceful smile as he heard what they were. "A break it seems for… " She quickly glanced at the letter she was holding. "Two weeks, rejoice Lieutenant, it appears the General Staff has recognised the Battalion's efforts and wish to reward you all."

Weiss' face turned again when he heard a certain word he despised more than most. "But!"

"But! The General Staff has called me back to Berun to discuss some things with them, so I'm going to need you to look after the Battalion while I'm gone… Don't give me that face."

Weiss' attempt at 'puppy dog eyes' had failed. "Yes that's no problem ma'am, when are you leaving?"

"Now." Tanya said as she showed her small case of luggage.

"Oh… Okay. Safe travels Major!" He gave her a quick salute before waving her off at the door.

XxXx

Imperial New Republic Territory, Nacie-Ville Train Station

Tanya arrived at the train station about 30 mins early. She sat at one of the benches and waited patiently, while reading over files she had neglected before until the train arrived.

Once the train had arrived she picked up her suitcase and boarded. One of the perks of being a fairly high ranked officer was being given her own private room on the train, the added comforts were a worthwhile extra.

After around an hour since the train's departure an unknown officer stepped into her room unannounced and gave a lousy salute. "Major Tanya Von Degurechaff, your presence is requested in room 7 of cart 3." After his statement he left without further comment.

Tanya sighed. _What have I done now _she thought as she made her way over.

Something felt wrong about this whole situation, the man in particular, his Imperial accent was very strong, almost forced. He didn't follow the rules of conduct when speaking to a superior officer either. _His uniform was very new, perhaps he is just fresh out of training and doesn't understand- ah no that's one of the first things you are taught, what is going on here? _

Maybe she was just being overly cautious, Lieutenant Serebryakov mentioned something about that to her, though she wasn't really listening.

When she arrived, she announced herself before opening the door, however no one seemed to be there. "That's odd I'm sure this is the righ-"

Suddenly she was thrown onto the ground with a loud crash. She hadn't been expecting it so she didn't have her shields to save her from the pain of it. Her arms writhed in pain from taking the brunt of the fall, while trying to shield her head.

She looked back to a man standing there with a gun in his hand, it was the same man who had called her here. He screamed "For the Republic!" as two shots were fired. Tanya closed her eyes in a vain hope it would make it hurt less.

But.. She didn't feel any pain. Tanya opened her eyes to see the man frozen in the middle of the air, with two soldiers, also frozen, throwing him to the ground.

The man who shot her was the first to speak, his voice was deeper, distorted exactly like-

"Being X!"

"My child, the years you have spent down here in this world, and not even an ounce of faith has come of you? Tell me, why is it you hate me? Why do you despise me so much that you would-"

"You're preaching to the choir X."

The Deity sounded saddened, depressed even, but Tanya did not care.

"Is that what you think of me now? Not even a being anymore? Just 'X?'. After all that I have done for you and this is the thanks I get-" It was cut off

"All that you have done for me? Really? That's what you're doing now? Do you even hear yourself? Tell me, WHAT have you done for me X?!"

"What have I done?" Being X started to boil over. "I put you in a world where you had the intellectual advantage over everyone! All your little complexes you had in your past world can flourish here because of me! You knew what was going to happen before it was even thought of! I gave you that orb!"

"You gave me a curse!"

"I gave you that orb so that it would protect you! And keep you safe in this hellhole of a world! I gave you that orb so you could do outstanding things!"

"You also gave me it to corrupt my mind didn't you!? I've seen what this orb has done to me! And you certainly have too!"

"I made it to where you were born in a country that was full of those intellectuals you seem so fond of! A country that was not blinded by pride that caused idiotic decisions and killed people!"

"You didn't have to! You put me in a world that was about to be plagued by war! You could have just kept me in my own world. And it doesn't matter if we're rational, because everytime we would get one step closer to peace, you would take it away!"

"I have never interfered in the affairs of this world once Tanya! And you know that!"

"Do not call me by that name Being X! Call me by my real name!"

"Tanya you don't understand! That is your real name! You are not that man anymore! Tell me, do you even remember his name!?"

Tanya froze. _His name? My name you mean, my name… My name is…? Why can't I-? _"Being X what have you done to me!?"

"ENOUGH TANYA!" His sudden outburst surprised them both.

"I've had it with your open defiance." His voice softened. "Listen let me explain this to you, you are not that man anymore, you may have his memories but do you even know if that person is you? That man died that day, he was crushed under that train and died instantly."

Tanya listened intently to his words, she felt tears start to form as he explained it.

XxXx

(A/N This is a rewritten version of the first chapter. While I was writing the new chapter I noticed how poor the quality the older chapters were. I'm going to start rewriting most of the old chapters, nothing will change story wise but I hope it will be a more enjoyable story to read. Thank you!)


	2. Chapter 2

Imperial Barracks, Rhine Theater, Unified Year 1925

Visha had been eating her lunch when Weiss had given her the news, her favourite meal was splattered across the table without hesitation as soon as she heard that the Major was injured. Weiss gave his report.

"She had been shot by a man who claimed to be a part of the so called 'resistance'; the man was quickly apprehended by two Imperial soldiers who were nearby. According to the medical examiner the two bullets had missed any vitals and she should recover fairly well physically, however she is currently in a coma due to an unknown reason. The doctor's best guess is mental trauma but I don't see why that would be the case considering that it is the Major."

"Do they know when she'll wake up?" Visha asked with concern.

"They do not know if she will." Weiss answered somberly.

The two sat in silence for a moment until Visha suddenly stood up and began walking in the direction of her room, "I hope you'll excuse me Lieutenant, the Major will need me **when** she wakes up." She made sure to say that last part as clearly as she could. _The Major will wake up, she has to!_

"Well you'd need to know where she is wouldn't you?" Weiss laughed, "She's at the Charité Hospital in Berun, as her adjutant you are expected to arrive anyway you don't need my permission."

"Good to know, thank you Weiss." She replied.

"Be sure to let me know how she is, I would go myself but her last order to me was to oversee the Battalion. I don't want the Major to get mad at me for disobeying her orders." He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

XxXx

-, -, - - -

Tanya listened intently to what the deity was saying, she felt her eyes prickle with tears as she listened.

"This is why I want you to have faith in me child, we could have worked together to sort our differences and you would not have had to go through all of this, but you kept denying and defying me, whether you like it or not Tanya I am your God and I do see you as my child and my creation, and I truly do love you like one."

His words bred hatred in her she had not felt in a long time. _He brings me here and tells me all of this and __**again **__he tries the faith act? How self obsessed is he? Has all the power gone to his head?_

"You are not my God X, and I am most certainly not your goddamn child! Stop doing this! Stop trying to act like the perfect being who cares for all! You are just doing all of this to torture me! And why? To prove a point!?"

The pair sat in silence until a sigh was heard. Being X began speaking in a tone Tanya had not heard before. Defeated.

"I'm never going to make you understand am I? What I really want for you? Fine, I'll leave you alone."

"..."

Has she done it? Had she won? Then why doesn't she feel happy? And why does she feel like she's forgetting something?

Tanya thought back to the conversation.

"Tell me, do you even remember his name!?"

She froze as he remembered, _His name? My name you mean? It was… Why can't I?.. What Is my name goddammit? My name is… My name is..?_

XxXx

Imperial Military Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Visha had been alone in the room watching over Tanya, she had nearly fallen asleep when she heard a child's cry, it sounded like a little girl. "Major!" She ran over when she realised it had been the Major's voice she had heard.

Tanya was curled up in a ball hiding under the covers of her bed, crying to herself.

"My name… Why don't I remember my name?" Her voice was weak, almost unhearable. She kept asking herself the same question in different ways, almost as if trying to jog her memory with it.

"Major, can you hear me? What's wrong?" Visha sat down on the bed rubbing Tanya's back trying to calm her down. Eventually Tanya went back into a restless sleep, tossing and turning at every minute.

When she had finally stopped, Visha had quietly left the room so as to not disturb her and to let the doctor know that she had woken up.

XxXx

Tanya had awoken to find herself in a strange room, it was very plain and white, the kind you would find in a hospital room. _What happened? Where am I? _Again she remembered the conversation with X, "Do you even remember his name!?"

She felt her eyes tear up again, "Na-agh" She twinged, her voice was raspy and her throat burned. _His name? My old name? _It all slowly floated back to her. _The old me, the salaryman. Why can't I remember hi- my name? My name was..?_

XxXx

Visha had ended up falling asleep on the chair in Tanya's room, but she woke up at the sound of Tanya screaming and crying.

It was so loud in fact, that a doctor who was walking by had heard the noise and came rushing in, he tried to calm her but to no avail, he even answered her question of her name. "Your name is Tanya Degurechaff." But it had made her crying even louder.

Eventually, she had to be sedated, she was causing too much damage to herself.

The screaming had caught the attention of other members of staff and those in the hospital, some had tried to enter the room to see what was so bad that it caused a girl so young to scream in pain as much as she did, they were quickly sent off but it had made the area around Tanya's room seem eerily quiet and left the people in it with somber faces.

XxXx

General HQ, Berun, Unified Year 1925

General Hanz von Zettour was the first to speak.

"I assume you have both read the report about Major Degurechaff that was sent by her adjutant, Viktoriya Serebryakov, correct?"

Both Rerugen and General Rudersdorf had nodded their heads.

"And why I both called you here?"

"Her future in the military, correct?" Rudersdorf questioned. Zettour had simply given him a saddened nod in response.

When Rerugen had first read the report he couldn't believe it. _That monster had a breakdown? But wouldn't that mean I was wrong about her? _Rerugen felt sick for his belief. _Does that mean she really is like the rest of us? And actually feels remorse for what she does? Is she just strong willed in her beliefs and hides it?_

Rerugen barely spoke during the meeting, only answering questions in a short and concise way.

"Well it is obvious that she will not be fit to lead her battalion for at least another month or two, excluding her battalion's 2 week break. But that's assuming she will recover, we must remember that she is still just a child, the amount of pressure that has been laid on her shoulders during this war has been astronomical and I'm sure it has all built up until now."

The other two both nodded their head in agreement. Rerugen could feel that this meeting would last a while.

XxXx

Imperial Military Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Tanya had remained unresponsive ever since she had woken up, she had simply stared at her feet blankly, as if she was looking but not seeing. She would occasionally say a few words related to "What is my name?" before stopping and returning to her unresponsive state.

The word Tanya wasn't allowed to be said in the room as any time it was it would cause Tanya to start breaking down in tears and start screaming again.

XxXx

Rerugen had been the first to visit her, he had entered the room after announcing himself and found Lieutenant Serebryakov reading a book, while Major Degurechaff was staring at her bed blankly.

Lt. Serebryakov had stood up and gave him a crisp salute when she realised he had come in.

"Lieutenant Viktoriya Serebryakov of the 203rd Mage Battalion and adjutant to Major Degurechaff of the same! Pleasure to meet you sir."

He returned the gesture and asked how the Major was doing, the Lieutenant had explained to him about her episodes and her unresponsiveness to everything except her name.

"If I may ask a question sir? What happened to the attempted assassin of the Major?" The Lieutenant asked curiously.

"He was… Interrogated for information, the investigators had heard about who it was the man tried to kill and…" Rerugen paused. "Let's just say the man didn't receive a very pleasant death. Our countrymen don't take too kindly when people try to kill children, or national heroes. You can imagine the rest."

XxXx

(A/N Thank you so much for reading! This is a rewrite of the 2nd chapter, sorry it had took so long to do, a lot of problems had come up for me in the past months and It's been a struggle to find time to write. Any reviews or criticisms are appreciated, Thank you!)


	3. Chapter 3

The Damaged Mind

Imperial Military Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

It had been a few days since Tanya was admitted to the hospital and she has not gotten any better, the only thing noteworthy is that Tanya has stopped talking completely, _Her voice is probably destroyed from all that crying _thought Visha.

Visha had been given permission to become Tanya's caretaker until she is again fit for duty, if she ever will be that is.

"Major, could you please try to eat something?" Visha said caringly.

She received no response, Tanya didn't even look at her, she just kept staring at the wall. Visha sighed, she had been feeding the Major for the past few days but always had hope that Tanya would suddenly perk up after the question and start to get better, but sadly her hopes weren't reality.

A psychological evaluation was scheduled for a few days later, but until then they could not do anything but hope that she would get better.

Unknown, Unknown, Unified Year Unknown

_Who am I? _Tanya thought to herself _Am I Tanya or the salaryman? Was I ever even the salaryman at all? Where even am I? _Tanya thought tearfully. Shefound herself in what looked to be a large black room with light coming from nowhere, there were no doors or windows just...black.

Tanya stood up stifling her tears, she looked around hoping to see something she would recognise but to no avail.

_What is this meant to be? One of X's tricks? But he did say he would leave me alone. _

She felt light, very light, almost weightless, it was bugging her but not as much as the question of where she was, did. It was then that she saw a very bright light.

_Huh? _She thought to herself, she slowly started to walk toward it, but she suddenly felt restrained. _What is this? What is happening? _"Major! Please wake up!"_ Major? Who is- _"Major please you have to wake up!" _What is- _"Major please don't die like this!"

Imperial Military Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Visha had been writing reports at a desk in Tanya's room when she noticed the little girl moving, at first it was slow but it quickly became erratic, then she realised it. The Major was having a seizure.

She quickly called the nurses, who immediately ran over to Tanya and set her on her side, then removed anything around her that could cause damage. After a few minutes Tanya stopped suddenly, the nurses had tried to wake her but she remained unresponsive, one of the nurses started to take her pulse. "There's nothing." Another one of the nurses began to perform CPR.

"Major! Please wake up!" Visha felt tears start to form. She watched patiently as the nurses tried to wake her, but she wasn't waking up. "Major! Major you have to wake up! You have to!" Visha began to cry. "Major please don't die like this! You can't!"

She still wasn't waking up. They had nearly given up hope when Tanya started to cough. "Major!" Visha was about to hug the Argent but one of the nurses had stopped her just beforehand.

Tanya Looked up at Visha, she was confused as to what happened, she then promptly passed out.

Tanya awoke to a conversation between a woman and a doctor, Tanya didn't hear what either of them said, neither did she care. She was trying to figure out what happened_ Let's see, I was in a black room, there was some white light that appeared, I wasn't able to move, then I woke up here… What the hell happened? _

The doctor left and the woman noticed that Tanya had woken up "Major! Du bist wach! Wie fühlst du dich?" _Huh? _The woman noticed the confused look on Tanya's face.

"Major bist du in Ordnung?" _What the hell is she saying? What language even is that? What does she mean Major?_

"Um excuse me but who are you? And I'm afraid I don't understand what you are saying sorry."

The woman looked extremely confused and shocked _What was wrong with what I said?_

She was stunned _What language is that? When did the major even learn to speak it?_

"Major could you speak Imperial please, I'm afraid I don't understand what you are saying."

"Mada nani o itte iru no ka wakarimasen, gomen'nasai"

They both stared blankly at each other, hoping the other would speak 'normally'. "Major perhaps I'll leave you alone for now, but do call for me if you need me!" She ran hurriedly out of the room. _Why is the Major talking like that? I'll ask the doctor about it._

Tanya was just as confused as her, _Why did she leave I only asked who she was and what she was saying, perhaps she was an immigrant and doesn't know the language yet… Unless… wait a moment _ Tanya sat up and jumped off the bed, but she had forgotten that she had been bedridden for days and ended up falling on the floor.

A nurse that had passed by her room had noticed her and ran over to help her get back into her bed. "Major bitte seien Sie nicht so rücksichtslos, rufen Sie eine Krankenschwester, wenn Sie aufstehen möchten!"

Tanya froze, _I was right they were speaking normally, I just don't understand them. _"Major bist du in Ordnung?" _Well what the hell am I supposed to do? I don't know where I am and I don't understand the language here_

The nurse had put Tanya back on the bed and left to fetch the doctor "Sumimasen, watashi ga doko ni iru ka shitte imasu ka?" The nurse just stared at her in shock, _Yeah, just had to make sure. Goddammit what the hell am I supposed to do_

(A/N I put this off for a while because I had absolutely no idea what to write, if the tone of the story kept changing suddenly this was written over a few days, so sorry. Again any criticisms and reviews are appreciated. Thank you for reading!)

P.s The translations are probably inaccurate but I tried to make them as accurate as possible soooo if anyone knows the real translations please let me know. Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

General HQ, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Zettour frowned as he listened to Rerugen talk about the Argent, he had hoped that Rerugen would come back with good news but that was not the case. "And that concludes the report." 'Hmm. Lieutenant Colonel may I ask you a personal question?' He nodded. "Do you think Degurechaff will recover?" Rerugen thought for a second. "I do sir." 'Hmm... I hope your right. Dismissed.' Rerugen saluted and quickly left the room.

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

"Have you heard of anything like this happening before doctor?" Visha and the doctor she called were walking to Tanya's room after Visha had told him what had happened. "Not personally, but in theory I have heard that it is possible." They continued walking until they got to the door of her room. "Major! I am coming in now!" she and the doctor opened the door and saw Tanya looking at herself in the mirror with a confused look on her face.

"Um Major?" Tanya did not look at her, she just kept looking at herself confusingly.

Tanya stared at herself in confusion _This is what I look like?_ She was that lost in thought that she hadn't noticed the two people enter her room.

"Major!" Tanya looked over "Oh it's the woman from earlier, hello." She saw the woman whisper something to the man in the white coat. _Rude _"Ich sehe, du bist wach, wie fühlst du dich?" The man spoke this time. "Sorry, I still do not understand what you are saying."

Tanya backed away from the mirror and walked toward the bed before getting in it_ I think it's better to do this seeing as i'm not fully dressed_

The man walked over to a desk that had been in the room and picked up a piece of paper and a pen, then began to write something, when he finished he walked over to Tanya and gave her the paper and pen. She read what the man wrote "Can you read this?"

Tanya looked up at the man and nodded, she then began to write "Where am I, who am I? and who are you?" She then passed the note to the man.

The man looked confused as he read it, he walked over to the woman standing by the door, he then handed her the note, said something and then left.

Visha gasped when she read what Tanya wrote,_ "Who am I?" has she really lost her memory that much?_

Visha looked up to Tanya staring at her expectantly. Visha quickly wrote "Your name is Tanya von Degurechaff, you are in a hospital in the capital city Berun and I am Viktoriya Serebryakov"

Visha passed the note to Tanya and took a step back. She saw Tanya start to scribble over something on the page and then began to write something. When Visha got the note back she saw that "Tanya von Degurechaff" was scribbled out and "That's not my name." underneath it.

Visha looked up at Tanya and then wrote "Then what is your name?" 'Salaryman' _Salaryman? Is that meant to be a second name or something?_ "It's getting late, try to get some rest please, it may help you remember things."

Tanya simply nodded at her. Satisfied, Visha turned the lights off and left the room.

(A/N Been very busy and haven't been able to write lots and when I do I never have any ideas on what to actually write so yeah sorry, that's also the main reason why this chapter is so short.)

P.s The reason Tanya isn't 'normal' this chapter is mainly because she's forgetting everything, including her rationality thats why shes very... simple, this chapter. Anyway Thank You for Reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Imperial Barracks, Berun, Unified Year 1925

It was 3am and Visha couldn't sleep, she had been worrying about the extent of her commanders conditions. _She can't even remember who she was _Visha thought to herself, reading what Tanya wrote "Who am I?" had crushed her, she couldn't believe that an assassination attempt had caused that much damage to Tanya's brain, sure the doctor said it was possible but she still couldn't believe it.

"Aghhhh and I still need to write to Weiss to inform him of the Major's condition," she whispered to herself. _What the hell am I supposed to tell him?_ Visha stared at the wall for a while before coming to a conclusion on what to do, _Screw it, just sleep and think about it tomorrow_

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Next Day

She woke up when she heard her door knock and the woman… Viktoriya? Walked in. "Oh it's you again?" That's when the woman's face brightened a little "Major! You are starting, sich an Dinge zu remember, die I see!"

"What in the what?" _Why did I understand half of that?_

The Viktoriya lady then grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, then wrote something down.

"I'll be right back" It read.

After a few minutes she came back with a very happy look on her face as she began writing.

"I told the doctor and he said that this could be a severe case of Transient global amnesia, and if it is then you should get your memory back soon,"

_Comforting _Tanya thought.

"So with that in mind," she continued to write "I'm going to leave you to rest for a while, so please do just that, it will help with the recovery." Before Visha could leave however, Tanya grabbed her arm and made her wait until she was done writing.

"You never answered my question, who am I?" Visha looked at her confused. "You wrote that your name was Salaryman, Major?"

"No I didn't, that's not my name," Tanya wrote. Visha could tell that Tanya was starting to get angry but she didn't know why. "And what the hell is this Major thing you keep referring to even the nurses say it to me?"

Visha began to write, "It's your rank in the Imperial army, Major. And do you know what your name is then, Major?"

Tanya seemed to get more and more angry every time she was called Major, but Visha wasn't allowed to call her anything else so she kept writing it.

"What the hell is an Imperial army? And do you think I'd ask you if I knew my name?" Tanya replied in angrily written words.

Visha thought she could try to tell Tanya her 'real' name but as soon as Tanya had read what Visha had written, her face had turned from anger to pure fear.

Tanya started to speak and began to shiver "N-no that's, that's th-at's not my name." She started to get louder "that's, that's the name he-" Tanya began hyperventilating. "He-It-he-"

"Who?" Visha said shocked, Tanya suddenly started speaking in Imperial fluently. "It's the name it chose!" 'Who Major?' Visha said caringly. _I've never seen her so terrified, and the thought of this thing is making her remember everything _

Realising that she wasn't going to get an answer, Visha instead tried to calm Tanya down. "Please, please don't!" Tanya said, before falling on the floor. _Is she scared of me?_ Thought Visha. She looked down at Tanya, finding the little girl rolled up in a ball crying "please dont."

"Tanya…" Visha said lightly. "Please stop calling me that, that's not my name…" Tanya replied, weakly.

Imperial Barracks, Oldunbegre, Unified Year 1925

Matheus Johan Weiss was sitting in his office reading a letter he'd received from his friend Neumann when the messenger had knocked on his door, the messenger had informed him that Major General Zettour had called for his presence in Berun.

Weiss was completely taken aback by the news _Does that mean the Major's condition isn't improving? _He began packing as soon as the messenger had left, he informed Koenig about his leave and relayed the Majors order to him.

Imperial Capital Berun, The Next Day

The train ride had been smooth enough but Weiss couldn't get the pit feeling out of his stomach, _I really do have to go see how the Major is doing after this _He thought to himself.

As he made his way to General HQ he noticed a sweet shop that looked rather luxurious _You are meant to give gifts to injured comrades, and I don't think the Major would appreciate a bunch of flowers_

He pondered on this until he reached the front desk of reception of General HQ and gave his identification papers. "He is in Study Room 2 on the third floor." said the receptionist, handing him back his papers. "Thank you ma'am." He replied charmingly.

As he was walking up the stairs to where the receptionist told him the General was, he couldn't help but notice the amount of pity stairs he had gotten. _Perhaps they believe I am in trouble of some kind? _

Weiss approached the door and announced himself, before waiting to hear the Generals reply. "Come in."

Weiss entered to find the Major General reading a book, very focused, he recalled how he had seen the Major do the same thing on numerous occasions and laughed a little to himself on the inside.

"Sit down First Lieutenant, and relax with the formality, personally I'm not one to see the point in it.

"Thank you sir," replied Weiss finishing his salute

"I suppose you already have an idea of why I called you here correct?" Zettour said to him. "I believe it is to do with the 203rd and Major Degurechaff being unable to lead it sir?"

"Correct." Zettour replied. "You will receive a temporary promotion to Major, First Lieutenant and possibly a permanent one if you proceed to excel in your new role. Major Degurechaff speaks highly of you, and has said before that you would be an appropriate replacement if something were ever to happen to her, which now has become a reality"

Weiss noticed the frown that appeared on Zettour's face as he said the last part. _I see he holds a close bond to the Major also _

"We hope you will do the Empire proud, First Lieutenant. Your promotion will go through in the coming days. Until then however I would like to ask you something." Said Zettour in a stern voice

"Yes of course sir." Weiss replied.

"Have you ever seen Major Degurechaff cry before? First lieutenant." Zettour questioned "Nothing bad of course but, at all I mean, have tears of sadness ever came to her eyes? You can speak freely First Lieutenant. Degurechaff wouldn't be punished for something so simple"

Weiss took a moment to think before answering "No sir I have not."

Zettour replied with a small, "Hmm," before saying "Well that is all First Lieutenant, please continue to give glory to the Fatherland and I wish you a good day." Then giving a salute

"And to you sir!" Said Weiss, giving a crisp salute before exiting.

_That was an extremely odd question to ask _Weiss thought to himself.

He left and began to head in the direction of the sweet shop he had noticed earlier.

(A/N Woohoo! a chapter that I don't completely hate! Again any comments are appreciated and Thank you for reading!)


	6. Chapter 6

(Disclaimer Very Graphic)

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

"Then what is your name?" Visha asked.

"I don't know…" Tanya replied. She didn't bother getting up, she just sat there crying quietly.

"Major I-" Visha began before being cut off.

"Leave me alone please…"

Visha could hear the sadness in her voice and it made her want to cry with her. "Major please-"

"Please… Just leave me alone…" Tanya said quietly.

Visha was taken aback by this "I-" Visha looked at the girl crying into her knees. "I understand Major."

Visha left the room and began walking back to the barracks, she didn't look up the whole journey, she was trying to hold back her own tears.

Tanya sat there crying in silence. _Who am I? What did I do to be punished like this? _"Why-y is this happening to m-me?"

Tanya sat there crying until she finally fell asleep.

Imperial Capital Berun, Unified Year 1925

Weiss continued walking until he finally found what he was looking for. _Ah, here it is _He thought to himself.

Weiss entered the store and was welcomed by a pretty blonde woman. "Welcome to Anne's Sweet Shop! How may I help you?"

"Yeah thanks um, could you tell me what your most expensive chocolate is?"

"Ooo buying for a lover are we?" The woman said smugly.

"N-No! I just wanted some for a friend!" Weiss replied embarrassingly.

"I'm just teasing! Anyway, our most expensive huh? Hmm let's see…" The woman shuffled through a few boxes before finding what she was looking for. "Aha! Here we are. These were imported from the Unified States, just came in last week!"

"How much?"

"9 Marks please!"

Weiss paid for the chocolate and left _Holy crap that shop is expensive _He thought to himself. _Ah but that woman was so pretty_

Weiss quickly brought himself back to reality. _No time for idle thinking, I have to go see the Major_

General HQ, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Zettour thought quietly to himself. _I see why the Major thinks highly of him, though he will probably being going to see her now. I wonder what he will think of her condition._

Zettour stared quietly out of the window until Rudersdorf entered his office.

"Ah, General, as punctual as ever it seems."

"Well of course. So what was it you wanted to discuss with me."

"It's about Degurechaff again."

"I figured"

"What do you think is going to happen to her?"

Rudersdorf looked at him confused "What do you mean?"

"The Imperial High Command is starting to doubt if she will recover and is starting to think about discharging her."

"Why? It's only been a week since the incident occurred, did they expect her to recover in that short period of time?"

"It's the reports we are receiving from the medical staff and Lieutenant Serebryakov. Her progress is random and is sometimes backwards. They don't think she will recover fully and if she does, they don't think she will be suitable for combat anymore."

"So what's your plan? I highly doubt that you are going to let your little pet be discharged."

"The plan is…"

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Tanya woke up in an oddly familiar patch of grass. "Huh? What is this?" She asked herself.

Tanya looked up and saw 3 children playing with some flowers. She began to walk to them, but when they saw her, they began running away and started screaming. "Run! It's the Devil! It's the Devil of The Rhine!"

"Devil? What are they-?" Suddenly Tanya's memories began to flood back. She remembered it all, the Train Station, Being X, her Rebirth, her Orphanage, her Military Training, her First Deployment, her First...Kill. No not kill. Murder, she murdered him, she murdered that man, she was a murderer.

_No! I couldn't of I- No! That's Not true! That can't be…_

She saw all of her deployments, she saw all of her slaughtering, she saw all of the blood, all the faces.

Suddenly the grass began to wither around her. She looked at her hands _No I'm not a murderer!_

Then the sky began to turn red. _This can't be!_

Then the artillery began to fire. _Please!_

She looked up to where she saw the children running a moment ago, she noticed 3 bodies on the ground. _I don't-_

Then a gun appeared in her hands. _I don't-_

Then Lieutenant Serebryakov appeared in front of her, blindfolded and tied to a pole. _Why is-_

Tanya couldn't control her arms, they began to take aim at Viktoriya _No please! Don't make me-_

"I don't want this! I DON'T WANT THIS!" She then saw the 3 children behind her, but their bodies were dead, she saw the holes in their bodies and the maggots in their hair.

"You better watch out the Rhines devil's here

You better watch out the Rhines devil's here

"Please I don't want to!" Her arms kept raising.

Coming to take our souls away

Coming to take our souls away

She thirsts on fear, She thirsts on blood

She thirsts on fear, She thirsts on blood

"Please!"

She feels no pain, feels no remorse

She feels no pain, feels no remorse

"I DON'T WANT TO!" Her gun was now aiming at Viktoriya

She took the hearts of all that fought

She took the hearts of all that fought

She licks the tears of all the lost

She licks the tears of all the lost

"PLEASE!, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!" Her fingers began moving to the trigger.

You better watch out the Rhines devil's here

You better watch out the Rhines devil's here

"PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME KILL MY FRIEND!"

Tanya heard Visha start laughing, she looked up and saw that her blindfold had fallen off.

"Friend?" Visha Chuckled. "I was never your friend, what made you think that? Look at yourself, who would want to be friends with a devil?"

Tanya's gun fired.

Tanya was horrified and continued to look at Visha who was now laughing.

"See I told you, Who would be friends with a Devil? In the end, you just get burned." Visha then slumped over on her shoulder, she was still smiling.

Tanya looked down at her feet and saw that she was standing on corpses, it was the corpses of all the people she killed.

"I-egh-ugh" Tanya couldn't speak. She just stared at them all.

The 3 children spoke again, Tanya turned around and saw their eyes being eaten by rats as they spoke. "A Devil's fate is sealed, there can be no redemption. Burn Devil, Burn.

Tanya felt a hand on her leg, then two, then three. She began to get pulled down. "What? Please!"

She looked down and saw all of the corpses looking and grabbing at her, pulling her down, she then saw a firey pit.

"PLEASE!" She began getting trailed down. She was about to enter the pit when…

She woke up.

(A/N So I haven't written in a while and I'm sorry so I hope this chapter can make up for that. But uhh... Yikes I don't know if I went too far with this one, I reallly love dark and scary stuff and I got a little carried away, so sorry if reading this was a bit hard. Anyways, thank you for reading! And any comments are appreciated, I do read them all. Buildlancer I hope this is sort of what you meant, and Guest, I'm planning on updating the translations soon. Anyway Thank You!)


	7. Chapter 7

Imperial Barracks, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Weiss walked up to the reception at the barracks and gave his name, he was planning on meeting with Visha then visiting the Major but when he got to Visha room he could hear crying.

He knocked on the door and the crying stopped, he heard Visha talk from the other side.

"Who is it!?" She shouted, trying to clean the tears from her face.

"It's Weiss! Are you okay!? It sounded like you were crying!" He replied

"I was not!" Said Visha, pretending to be offended.

Visha opened the door and greeted Weiss. "I didn't know you were in Berun." She said, trying to calm herself.

"The General Staff called me here. Are you okay Visha? I could swear I heard crying from your room." Weiss returned.

"It's nothing to worry about just forget about it."

"Hmm, as long as you're okay I suppose. I'm here if you ever want to talk though." Weiss commented.

"So what is it you came here for? I would assume you were going back to tell the battalion about the new orders you probably got." Visha stated.

"I was going to see the Major and wanted to ask if you wanted to come? I thought you would have been there already to be honest but I thought I would check here first."

"I was there earlier but the Major… Yeah sure I'll come." Weiss gave her a strange look and they both left for the hospital.

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Weiss and Visha both announced themselves and entered the room. In the room, they saw that Tanya was curled up in a ball sleeping where Visha had seen her earlier.

"Why isn't she in bed!" Visha shouted panicked, running over to pick Tanya up and put her in her bed.

"Are all the nurses incompetant here?" Weiss said angerally.

Visha ran over to Tanya and picked the young girl up, she put her on the pillows and made the bed, she then pulled Tanya down into the bed.

"AGGGHHH AGGHHH PLEASE!" Tanya started screaming and kicking when Visha began to pull her.

"Major please calm down!" Visha tried to shout, but she was drowned out but Tanya. "PLEASE DON'T! I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE!"

Weiss ran over then grabbed Tanya by the arms and tried to calm her. "Major your okay! Please stop shouting your okay!"

"PLEase! I don't! I don't want to go down there!" Tanya stopped shouting but started hyperventilating. "Your not going anywhere Major! We're here! Me and Viktoriya are here!"

"W-Weiss? And Vikto-toriya?" Tanya started to calm down

"Yes Major, me and Viktoriya are both here, your not going anywhere." Weiss said in a caring voice.

Tanya started to cry, "your both-your both h-here."

_What the hell kind of nightmare was that?_ Weiss thought to himself. "Yes we're both here Major." Visha said consolingly

Weiss took a step back to let Tanya adjust herself on the bed. _Is this why General Zettour asked me that?_

XXXxxx

She began to get pulled down. "What? Please!"

She looked down and saw all of the corpses looking and grabbing at her, pulling her down, she then saw a firey pit.

"PLEASE!" She began getting trailed down. "AGGGHHH AGGHHH PLEASE!"

"PLEASE DON'T I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE!"

"PLEASE!" She was about to enter the pit when something grabbed her by the arms, she looked up and saw _Weiss?_

"Major your okay! Please stop shouting your okay!"

"PLEase! I don't! I don't want to go down there!" She tried to cling to Weiss and began hyperventilating.

"Your not going anywhere Major! We're here! Me and Viktoriya are here!" Tanya felt the hands letting go of her legs.

She was in disbelief "W-Weiss? And Vikto-toriya?" She looked over and saw Visha standing watching them nearly in tears.

Tanya looked down and saw that everything was gone. The withered fields, the red sky, the bodies, all gone. _Oh god how many were there? Hundreds? Thousands? _She saw that it had all been replaced with a mattress and pillows.

"Yes Major, me and Viktoriya are both here, your not going anywhere." Weiss said in a caring voice.

"Your both-your both h-here." Tanya said. She felt her eyes prickling.

"Yes we're both here Major." Visha said consolingly.

"Where did it all go?" Tanya said before starting to hyperventilate again. "The-The-The corpses! And the-the fire! And the-"

"Major it was just a nightmare! It wasn't real!" Visha shouted.

"But-But it felt so, so real and" Tanya stammered, struggling to get words out. "And-And!"

"Major it's okay now, your okay." Said Visha.

Tanya slowly started to calm down at the words of her subordinate. "Im-Im okay?...Im okay."

XXXxxx

(A/N a lil short chapter just to make up for the like 2 week break I took. Thank you for reading and any comments are appreciated. Thank you!)


	8. Chapter 8

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

XXXxxx

"Yes Major, Your okay...Your okay." Tanya began crying into Visha arms.

Weiss truly couldn't believe his eyes _She really is just like a little girl when you look at her like this_ He thought to himself.

Weiss and Visha both sat in silence as they listened to Tanya's cries, each getting more heartbroken by the second.

"I… I don't want to be the devil anymore…" Tanya cried. This caught both Weiss and Visha by surprise.

Visha was the first to respond. "Major do not think of yourself in such a way! It's just a nickname those Republican dogs gave you!"

"She's right Major! Don't take them things personally!" Weiss added.

Their words had no effect on her as she seemed to cry more with the responses.

XXXxxx

Imperial High Command, Berun, Unified Year 1925

XXXxxx

"I see your point General, but do you really think this is the best course of action to take? We are putting a little girl into a very critical position, you know what the rest of command will think. They won't make a 12 year old girl a strategist." General Volkenhayn sighed with annoyance.

"You of all people should know what she is capable of General, you've seen the reports I've made." Zettour replied.

"Yes, I have. And I can see why you would want her in that position, but the rest of them don't. They only see a soldier who's good at following orders and does her job well."

"And that's why I want you to convince them, you are one of the most influential people I've met, that's why I think that you should do it."

Volkenhayn sighed. "Listen, I'll see what I can do but there will be no promises."

"Yes of course, Thank you General." Zettour replied

After excusing himself he left the General's office and started walking back to Strategic HQ. _ So they're fine with throwing her in a warzone but not with making a few decisions? Honestly. _Zettour thought to himself.

XXXxxx

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

XXXxxx

"Major maybe you should try to sleep a little." Visha said in a comforting tone.

Tanya perked up at this, Visha noticed the look of fear in her eyes before she put on a flat face.

"No I'm fine Lieutenant. I'm not tired." Tanya responded nervously.

It had been a few hours since Tanya had woken up. Weiss had to leave to return to the battalion, but he said he would return to check up on them before his break was over.

Tanya barely spoke, she just sat in silence unless she was asked a question.

_At least she responds_ Visha thought.

"Really Major, even if you're not-" Visha was cut off

"Visha please... I'm fine." Tanya said. Visha noticed the look of worry on her face and decided to back down.

The room was silent until Visha had an idea. "Major, would you like some coffee? Im sure the staff won't appreciate it but I'm sure they'll let me make a cup for you." _She seems to have always enjoyed mine so_

"No... I'm fine thank you." Tanya said uncharacteristically. The room was in silence again.

"Major, do you want to talk about what happened?" Visha asked.

"What exactly?" Tanya responded.

"Any of it, the attack, the nightmare-" Visha was cut off again.

"It wasn't a nightmare…" Tanya responded quietly.

"What do you mean Major?" Visha said, taken aback.

"It wasn't-" Tanya caught herself before she could finish. "I- Nevermind it's nothing."

"Major if you're not going to talk to me about it can you at least promise me something?"

Tanya looked up at her curiously.

"Please do talk to someone about it." Visha looked at Tanya awaiting a response.

Tanya gave a small smirk before answering in sadness. "If I did they'd send me to an Asylum."

_Surely she's exaggerating _Visha thought.

"I'm sorry but I don't think I could keep that promise if I made it." Tanya said, looking downat herself with an ashamed expression.

_Does-Does she really believe that? Oh god, What happened to her?_

"Lieutenant It's getting late, perhaps you should head home... I'll be fine on my own."

"Major with all due respect after what happened I really don't think I should." Visha protested.

"Lieutenant all that happened was I fell asleep out of bed by accident and had a nightmare, that's it." Tanya replied, trying to return to her usual demeanor and failing. You could still hear the crying in her voice.

"Major I-" Visha was cut off.

"I don't want to have this argument again Lieutenant, please just go, you look tired. Get some rest, I'll still be here tomorrow."

Visha stayed silent for a moment before answering. "By your orders Major." `Dismissed`

Visha left the room in silence. _She right, I should get some rest _Visha thought to herself. _But should she really be alone right now?_

Visha kept asking herself this all the way back to the barracks before entering her room, and slumping on her bed. _What kind of friend am I if I can't even help her with this?_ She thought to herself.

XXXxxx

Tanya thought quietly to herself. _What the hell am I supposed to do? I don't think they'll let me resign yet since the war is just over, and they won't get a chance to let me resign, because the war isn't truly over. Getting a job in the rear hasn't worked at all so far. Should I just tell General staff the truth? That I want to be on the rear? They say cowards get sent to the front but surely I've earned enough merit to avoid that fate. Should I tell Rerugen first? It always seemed like he was looking out for me in a way._

Tanya decided. First chance she got, she would speak with Rerugen, and get his thoughts on the matter, and after that she would speak to General Zettour.

_I won't be able to redeem myself, I know that I'm a murderer, I can't be forgiven for that… But at least I won't be able to cause anymore harm. Or maybe I should… No… That's the most wasteful act one could do, I should not think about doing that, that would change nothing... But it could help my victims be at peace, I'm sure my death would make a lot of people happy... _

_So I should just do it then?_

_I deserve it don't I?_

_Death by the hands that killed so many._

_My own._

_XXXxxx_

(A/N Thank you for reading! Any comments and reviews are appreciated. Sorry if this chapter is a little depressing but I wanted to show that the nightmare really did take a toll on her, don't worry she won't die by suicide. Anyways Thank you!)


	9. Chapter 9

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified year 1925

XXXxxx

_No stop being stupid_ Tanya criticised.

Tanya smirked to herself. "Maybe Being X did lie after all, and he just wanted to kill me." She whispered quietly.

_Everyone hates me don't they? The world and 'god'... What do I do…?_

"Do you have any ideas Being X? You seem like the kind of person who would beat someone when they are down." Tanya stated.

She sat in silence for a few moments before getting up. _I should go for a walk or something to clear my head_

Tanya felt pain in her legs when she tried to stand up. _Oh, yeah… still recovering. I'll just use magic to numb the pain for now._

Tanya walked over to the closet in the room and picked up her uniform, she then began to change.

Just before she finished a nurse walked into the room.

"Oh, Major Degurechaff you are on your feet." She noticed her putting on the uniform. "It is starting to get dark Major, are you sure you would like to go out?"

Patients were not allowed to leave the hospital unless they were fully recovered but she wasn't going to tell the hero of the Fatherland what to do.

"I'm just going for a walk, I'll be back shortly." Tanya answered void of emotion.

"U-Uh okay Major Degurechaff." The nurse replied nervously.

Tanya gave her a curious look. _Oh, I see, she's afraid of me too _Tanya thought as she finished tying her boots.

XXXxxx

General HQ, Berun, Unified Year 1925

XXXxxx

"Ah, so she's woken up then?" Zettour said with a smile as he read the report. "That's good news. What does the Doctor say about it?"

"He says that her injuries have mostly healed up, and she is on medication for the pain. The only thing of note is that she has been talking very little and she seems very paranoid, but of course after an attempt on one's life that is to be expected." Rerugen concluded.

"Well it is good to see she is recovering. Lieutenant Colonel I would like you to visit her again and give me your opinion on how she is doing."

"Understood sir. I'll take my leave then."

XXXxxx

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

XXXxxx

Rerugen walked up to the receptionist and spoke. "I'm looking for a Major Tanya Von Degurechaff."

"She is in… Room 297" The receptionist replied.

"Thank you."

Rerugen made it to the room and announced his presence before opening the door.

He saw Tanya with bloodshot eyes, messy hair and a fatigued face. "Good morning Colonel Rerugen, What brings you here?." She said drowsily.

Rerugen was at a loss for words _I've never seen her so… weary? Is that the right word for it?_

"Good Morning Major Degurechaff. General Zettour asked me to get an update on how you were feeling. Speaking of which, did you get any sleep? You look incredibly tired." Rerugen asked.

Tanya gave a soft smile. "I'm fine sir I assure you."

XXXxxx

Tanya was panicking. _I didn't expect him so soon! I don't even know what I was going to say to him yet!_ It didn't help that nightmares kept her up the night before. _At least they weren't as bad as the first one I had when Visha and Weiss came. That really messed me up._

"How kind of General Zettour to worry about me." Tanya joked.

"Indeed." Rerugen replied. "Sorry if this comes as a bother to you Major but it is an order."

"Oh there's no worries Colonel, I needed to speak with you actually."

"You did?"

"Yes Colonel, I was wondering where I was going to be posted after my recovery." Tanya stated.

_I'll be subtle for now but if it doesn't work, I'm just going to say it truthfully_

"I do not know, but I believe that General Zettour is trying to get you a position somewhere, though I don't know where exactly."

"Oh that's-"_ Zettour is? Interesting _"-wonderful, I should speak to him when I get the chance then."

XXXxxx

Imperial Train Station, Oldunbegre, Unified year 1925

XXXxxx

Weiss got off the train with a sigh._ It's weird seeing the Major like that, she was so… childlike _"It's strangely terrifying." he whispered quietly.

"Captain!"

"Hm?" Weiss turned to see Grantz waving his hat next to a nearby car.

_It seems my ride is here _He thought to himself as he jogged over to meet Grantz.

"Major, now." Weiss said cheerfully.

"Oh, congrats on your promotion then Major, does that mean you will be leading the battalion now?"

"Yeah, I spoke with General Zettour and he said I was to take command until the Major returns, if she does."

"If? Is she really not doing that well then?"

Weiss stayed silent for a minute before finally replying. "I'm sure she will return, there's nothing to worry about."

Grantz looked unconvinced but didn't press any further.

XXXxxx

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

XXXxxx

"And finally, you will be receiving a new medal aswell Major." Rerugen finished.

"Oh? What is it?" Tanya replied curiously. She had managed to make him stay a while longer than he had intended to so she could learn of any news but it had all been trivial._ There is no way the war is just over, It's just a matter of time before someone else joins _

"I believe that it is the Aerial Victory first class medal, your confirmed kills have reached over 120." He stated.

Tanya froze up. "How many exactly may I ask?" She asked fearfully. _Surely they must be mistaken? That many? I know I'm a murderer but-_

"128 confirmed kills and 76 confirmed assists, why do you ask?" Rerugen asked curiously. He looked at Tanya and noticed how awfully pale she was.

"128?" She asked quietly with terror in her eyes. "I-I couldn't have… That many?" She asked herself.

She started to shake. "Are you sure those numbers are accurate Colonel?" She asked nervously.

Rerugen looked confused _Why is she suddenly reacting to her confirmed kills? It didn't bother her before _"Well no, those are only the confirmed ones, I'm sure the number is much higher if you include the unconfirmed ones."

"R-Right." Tanya replied.

"Are you feeling unwell Major? Your quite pale."

"S-Something like that. Colonel may I ask you something?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"Can I refuse the medal?"

"Refuse it? Why would you want to do that?"

_I can't just say because I don't want to be rewarded for murder, what to say, what to say…_

Tanya put on a calm face and spoke. "I don't want to be rewarded for simply doing my duty for the Empire."

Rerugen stared for a moment before answering. "I suppose I could have the submission cancelled but, are you sure?"

"One-Hundred percent."

"All right then I suppose."

XXXxxx

(A/N Sorry if this chapter seems rushed because it is. Also really sorry for the delay It's been a really busy month and I haven't been able to write as much as I would like. Thank you for reading! Any comments or reviews are appreciated. Thank you!)


	10. Chapter 10

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

"Well that was insightful." Tanya said to herself as she laid her head down on her pillows. _I wonder what Zettour has planned? I could never tell what that man was thinking._ "He has some poker face." She sighed.

Tanya cursed at the Imperial Meritocracy for a moment. _Who the hell thought of a medal for murder?_

"Well I suppose a certain group of war nuts would love that medal." She thought, remembering how her Battalion acted. _Weiss will be leading them for now right? While he is one of the more sensible ones I do worry if he can keep them under control_.

Tanya resigned herself to her bed for a few minutes before remembering something. Recovery is extremely boring. She thought back to the first time she had been given time off to recover, back when she earned her Silver Wings Assault Badge. She never knew whether to be happy with the medal or not, on one hand as soon as she enters a room she gets immediate respect and willingness to listen just from the sight of it, on the other hand it was an excuse to throw her to the frontlines.

Tanya grimaced at the memory of the front. All of the death, the decay, the… waste. She shook her head. _No point in thinking about it now, as long as no one interferes there would be peace_

But that raised another point, will no one interfere? Will they just leave the Empire alone with all the new found territory they possessed?

_Well lets see, the Commonwealth should hopefully realize that they can't win alone, even with the help of the free republic. The Unified States should hopefully remain isolated, they don't really have a reason to attack us. The Ildoans are talking about becoming allied with Russy are just after a war with the Akitsushima Dominion and with the Great Purge in the Federation it's not like they're in any shape to fight and the Ispagna should hopefully back off since we have little history with them._

Tanya thought to herself. _There may be something I am missing. Hmm_

After a minute of thought she gave up. _Lets just pray that this nightmare is over and we can finally have a peaceful world_

Wirsch Manor, Outskirts of Berun, Unified Year 1925

Volkenhayn sighed as he walked into General Wirsch's office _How convenient that the man gets to work from home when there's no war on the continent. _He thought, slightly jealous he didn't think of doing it first.

"Ah Erich, it's good to see you." The man said, sitting up from his previous position of legs on the table, with whisky and a cigar in his left and right hand respectively. "I must say, when I received your letter I was intrigued."

The General Gestured for him to sit and took a sip of his drink before speaking, "So tell me friend, why should we let a 12 year old orphan girl with very little education besides war college be a key member in the future of the entire country." He said with a very passive aggressive tone.

The room was silent and Volkenhayn gave a small chuckle. "I see you did you research then."

"Given the situation I felt I had to." The General retorted.

Volkenhayn thought for a moment before answering. "Well the recommendation came from General Zettour if that brings any relief?"

He remained silent but quietly he was thinking to himself. He knew Zettour was a smart man and wouldn't give a recommendation out for just anyone, especially not for such a high position.

"Listen, from all of her reports the girl is outstanding, she's pulled off victories with plans made on the fly, she's thought of ideas that no one else could of on the battlefield like luring enemies into close quarters combat where we have a advantage, and even the attack on Osfjord, she was shown a map and asked for a plan of attack, she thought of the exact plan that had took the General Staff weeks to think of in just a few minutes, If anything the girl is a prodigy."

Wirsch considered his colleague's words carefully, while he had heard of the first two, he never heard of the last one, perhaps the General Staff and decided to skip that part to save face.

The room stayed silent until Wirsch finally spoke. "I had heard that she was recently put in hospital from a assassination attempt and that she has been recently having… Episodes. Are you sure she is stable enough?"

"According to a report from Colonel Lergen, who had been sent by Zettour to see how she was doing, she has mostly recovered and has not had any reported episodes since her last one a few days ago, but she seems to be rapidly improving."

"Hmm… When are you planning on bringing this up to the rest of command?" Wirsch asked.

"When I am sure she has fully recovered."

Wirsch thought for a moment. "Alright I'm on board, I'll support your decision."

"Thank you General."

"If she's as good as you say she is there's no need." Replied Wirsch sipping the last of his whiskey.

Sanctuary

X sighed as he watched the non-believer. He had done all he could to try to save her, he gave her that orb, gave her her magic, made a few well placed shots miss by inches. But still, she refused to believe in him.

He had started panicking when he heard her talking about whether she should kill herself or not. He would not allow his little lost lamb to stray so far away, but luckily she talked herself out of it.

"I'm just trying to save you child, why do you refuse to believe that and defy me so."

Perhaps he had been wrong to do what he did, thrown her into such an evil world on a side that would inevitably lose, but in his defence he was stressed, overworked, tired and for the first time in multiple histories, someone defied him to his face. Of course he couldn't control his anger, Her own God, well he at the time, was right in front of him and she dared call him imaginary.

Of course he was spiteful, after all he did for him and all he got was argued with and cursed at.

But still, I suppose he could have handled it better. X thought to himself, watching memories of how he used to be so kind and patient with them, but then time and time again, humanity would do something and eventually all that went away. All that was left was his tiredness, and his unreturned love for humanity and those in it.

Perhaps things could have been different if… It doesn't matter now.

For now he will watch and see what happens and pray that his little lost sheep would make her way home.

(A/N First of all, I am so sorry it took me so long to write this next chapter, I've had my back against the wall with school and when I have time I just had no motivation to write, that has thankfully gone away now and I finally have a few ideas of where I want this to go.

Second, I was wondering that if I alter the story of youjo senki, with a few twists and that, would that bother you guys at all? I have an Idea that would really change the story a bit and was wondering if you guys would want that.

Finally, Thank you, the amount of support I've got on this story, whether that be follows or reviews it's really helped me get these chapters out, so I can only hope I don't disappoint xd

Thank you for reading! Any comments or reviews are appreciated, even if I don't respond I read them all!)


	11. Chapter 11

Imperial Hospital, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Visha took a deep breath before she entered Tanya's room. She opened the door and saw a small blonde with shockingly untidy hair and a fatigued face reading a small book named 'A death in Veneci'. Though, judging by Tanya's expression it wasn't all that interesting.

Tanya finally noticed Visha after a few seconds and looked up. The tiredness on her face was obvious. _She really must not have slept much last night. I knew I should have stayed with her! _Visha shouted inwardly at herself.

"Good afternoon Lieutenant." Tanya said, looking back down at her book.

"Good afternoon Major! I had tried to call earlier but the nurses said you were meeting with someone, so I had decided to wait." Visha responded.

"Yes that's no problem. I was meeting with Colonel Lergen, he must have a lot of time on his hands if General Zettour simply asked him to check on me."

"Well I suppose now that the war is over and we just have to finish off the Republic he would have some extra time." Tanya slightly grimaced at that.

"Yeah…"

"Major?"

"Nevermind, it's nothing." Tanya said brushing it off and returning to her book.

Visha wanted to press further, but she knew that Tanya would never spill what she was thinking, she was far too closed off for that.

"Major, seeing as we have some time off until you recover, how about we take a walk around the city? It would be good for you to get some fresh air."

Tanya seemed to think for a minute before finally agreeing. "Though I will have to get dressed first, so do you mind waiting outside?"

Visha always loved the childlike side of the Major. There were many moments where they, as the only women, would have to get dressed and undressed together, and Tanya was always embarrassed and would try to get out of the situation. Though at times it did seem like a bit more than embarrassment, especially when it was Visha who undressed first. Visha chuckled at those memories as she left the room. "I'll let her have her privacy… hehe" She giggled.

Tanya took a bit longer than her usual 3 minutes it took to get dressed and instead took 5. _Probably because of her injuries_ Visha thought.

They left the hospital and took a short tour of the city, until Visha saw a shopping district she wanted to check out.

After 40 minutes, or to Tanya _2 hours_ they quickly made their way to a cafe for a break and because Tanya said she was going to die without her caffeine.

They took their seats and made their orders, they had been sat at an outdoor table and it was only now that Tanya realized how nice the weather was. The sky was bright blue with a few stray clouds appearing throughout, it was warm but cool enough that it wasn't uncomfortable.

Tanya watched as people walked by with smiles on their face, enjoying a beautiful day and pretending that there had never been a war to begin with, though that had been of course ruined by people in a bar a few buildings over, singing the National Anthem and shouting obscurities at the Republic.

But still, Tanya could appreciate how peaceful it was.

"Major, I wanted to ask you something." Visha said with determination.

Tanya looked over at her. "Yes what is it?"

Just as Visha started to speak, time slowed. Not **stopped** but… _slowed_. Tanya looked back to where she had previously. All she saw and heard were a gun and a gunshot. Tanya reacted quickly, she poured mana into her Type 97 that she had hidden in her pocket and brought up a defensive shield, she then shouted "Get down!" and threw herself onto Visha, bringing them both to the ground.

After that was just silence, no impact, no loud crowds just silence. _He must have missed. Now my chance to- _Tanya looked up to where she had seen the man holding the gun and all she saw were the large crowds from before, all looking at her, confused.

She looked down at Visha, who looked equally confused as the crowd. "What?" Tanya asked panting. "You heard the gunshot too I-"

"What gunshot?"

"Huh?"

Imperial Barracks, Oldunbegre, Unified Year 1925

Weiss had been preparing for his trip back to Berun when he got interrupted by a knock at his door. Weiss called him in and it was Nuemann, who was holding a letter.

Weiss sighed as he threw the letter down. _So they need a small elite group of reinforcements huh? _"Well that trip is cancelled then, I suppose I should write to Visha to let her know."

They were being sent as reinforcements to help aid the extermination of the Free Republic in the Colonies. _Well there could of been worse enemies_ he thought. At least this mini-war should be ended quickly, he doubted that they could do much.

_I wonder what the Major thinks _

Russy Labour Camp, Sildberia, Unified Year 1925

Kozna Kryichov had fought in the civil war, he fought for the side he believed in, the side that wants equality for all, no more economic classes, no more monarchs. But now here he was, a forced labour camp built by the people he fought for, fending for himself and his 2 children, all because he had a little bit of mana. His wife had died earlier that year, her body had been destroyed with all that she went through, it was a surprise she lasted as long as she did.

Now all that he had left were his children and even still, he couldn't be sure that they wouldn't spend their whole life here, his son being used as a machine and his daughter…

His blood boiled just by thinking about it, he hated his stupid, idiotic, younger self. "Fighting for the people my ass." He said furiously, if he ever got the chance he would kill every last filthy communist in the whole of the federation. But that could wait, for now he just had to keep his children safe and pray that someday, **someday **they might escape and could live free and happy.

Kozna wiped the sweat off of his face as he looked over at a car that had driven to the entrance of the camp. "Another party member I'm guessing." He watched as a large man with big, black glasses and little hair exited his vehicle.

"So he's the one I need to watch." He nodded to himself.

He glanced at his watch. _Nearly time_

(A/N A neat lil upload to try and fail to make up for the lack of consistency in my uploads.

Thank you all for reading, any comments or reviews are appreciated, I also take suggestions as well! I'm not exactly the best author when it comes to ideas that people will enjoy so any suggestions you might have I would love to hear.

Thank you!)


	12. Chapter 12

Imperial Capital City, Berun, Unified Year 1925

"What gunshot?" Visha asked quizzingly.

"Huh? What do you mean!?" Tanya replied panicked, slightly panting.

Tanya lifted herself off of Visha and began to look around frantically. "They were right here! I saw them I-" Tanya was cut off.

"Major are you sure what you saw was real?" Visha asked concerned.

"Of course I am! I'm not insane!" Tanya shouted.

"That's not what I mean! I just meant that after all you've been through I'm sure that-"

"Don't say it!"

"Major!"

"I know what you're going to say so don't say it!"

Visha stood there for a moment before finally relenting. _There's a better time for this, not in public_ She thought to herself.

Visha began to lift the table and chairs that Tanya had knocked over and did her best to clean up while Tanya calmed down.

When she finished both of them sat and proceeded to wait for their orders to arrive. Tanya buried her face in her hands and stopped speaking, likely an attempt to not show her embarrassment. While Visha simply sat back and waited for their food.

The waiter who came out was a tall, handsome man, with large blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Visha was sure she recognised him from somewhere but couldn't pinpoint it.

As Visha remained captivated by the man Tanya dug her face out of her hands and turned to the side as if something had caught her interest.

Visha quickly woke herself from the spell and gave the waiter a thank you before finally digging into her food. She tried to pry her eyes away from looking at the man but couldn't help it.

"You look in love."

Visha spun her eyes back around to look at Tanya who was smirking at her flustered face.

"Well I suppose you are about that age." Tanya said.

"You sound like you're forty." Visha jested, trying to wipe the embarrassment from her face.

"Well technically… I mean nevermind."

Visha simply stared at her before shrugging it off and digging back into her food. "I think I know him, but I can't remember where from."

"Talk to him then."

Visha's face shot up as red as a tomato. "I-I can't do that! What if I'm mistaken!?" She squealed.

"Then you were mistaken?" Tanya said, puzzled.

"But what am I meant to say!?" Visha replied.

"If that happens then just say 'sorry I thought you were someone else' and then come back here." She instructed.

Visha contemplated for a moment. "Okay, I'll ask him when he comes back."

They continued to eat but something started to eat away at Tanya. _This coffee… Somethings wrong with it. Something's definitely wrong with it!_

"Did?" Visha noticed Tanya suddenly seemed very angry. "Did they?" Visha watched as it looked like Tanya was about to explode with anger. "Did they put sugar in this!?" Tanya shouted furiously.

Visha smiled meekly as Tanya went on a rant about how coffee with sugar was an abomination and the person who made it must be trying to kill her with how sweet it was.

The waiter that Visha had seen earlier heard her and began walking over.

"Is something wrong with your meal?" The pretty waiter asked.

"Who made this coffee?"

"That would be the barista, would you like me to bring them over?"

Tanya gave the most hateful, spine-chilling glare over to where the barista was standing. Visha wasn't even in Tanya's line of sight and she got a shiver.

"No, just tell them _kindly _that if I ever get served something like this again I will have them shot." She said bitterly.

The waiter stood there for a moment unsure of what to do. Tanya looked back over at the man and spoke apologetically. "Sorry, it's been a bad day. Could I get this with no sugar please?"

The waiter took a second to register what was being asked before finally taking her cup and leaving. "Yeah sure no problem, sorry for the trouble."

Visha sat there looking at Tanya like a sad puppy. Tanya then apologized and they both went back to eating.

The waiter finally came back over with Tanya's coffee. "Here you are ma'am."

"Thank you, sorry again." Tanya replied.

"It's fine we're quite used to things like this happening." The waiter laughed.

"Um excuse me?" Visha sat up. "Do I happen to know you from somewhere? I'm sure I recognise your face."

The man thought quietly then snapped his fingers. "Viktoriya right? Yeah we used to go to school together!"

"Oh yeah! Hans correct? Oh I haven't seen you in forever how have you been?"

Russy Labour Camp, Sildberia, Unified Year 1925

Kozna glanced at his watch again as he watched the party member admire the camp. _At 11.45am a party member by the name Levirinty Loria will come to inspect Varkuta Corrective Camp. Be sure not to let him see your children, he has a reputation_.

"So this is Mr Big Man Loria eh?" Kozna said to himself. He had hidden his kids already.

Technically children weren't allowed in the camp, and they would be sent somewhere else, but luckily some of the guards had some morality and turned a blind eye. But from what he had heard, if a child is seen during a party inspection, they were never seen again, likely killed.

This, Loria was a main inspector, even though it wasn't his job at all. Some think he just likes to admire his handiwork, since he was the reason most people were put here.

Kozna began to read the next letter he had received that was to be read at 11.50am. He opened it up and it read. _In three weeks after the inspection the camp will be destroyed, with everyone inside it. You and your family need to escape before then. Go to the Empire, it should be safe there.. Best Regards Mr. Z_.

General HQ, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Zettour smiled as he read the letter that had been sent to him by Volkenhyne. The meeting with General Wirsch had gone well, and was on board.

Normally, General HQ would be allowed to pick their own staff and High Command would have nothing to do with it, but now they have apparently lost faith. _Due to the amount of gambles and risks the General Staff have taken, our trust in them has faltered. For now, the General Staff will have to put all important decisions including staffing of important roles through a vote with high command. This is only temporary, until we can be sure to place our trust back into General HQ_.

_That was all crap_ Zettour thought quietly to himself. _I mean yes, we took a lot of risks and gambles, but it all worked in the end so I don't see why they're complaining. The Fatherland is still standing because of us and what we did_

Zettour puffed on his cigar that his friend Rudersdorf had bought for him as a birthday gift. _Speaking of birthdays, Rerugen's is soon too isn't it? I'll need to remember to buy them cigarettes he likes. _

_Anyway time for work _Zettour cracked his knuckles, picked up his pen, and began to write. _Dear Mr. Z_.

(A/N Thank you all for reading, any comments or reviews are appreciated and stay safe! This Coronavirus is affecting everyone apparently so be sure to stay safe! Thank you!)


	13. Chapter 13

Imperial Capital City, Berun, Unified Year 1925

Tanya regrets telling Viktoriya to talk to the man. Originally she had thought it would have been a two minute conversation no matter what way it went, but now.

"So why are you working here then?" Visha asked the man.

After finding out that the two knew each other, they had proceeded to hold a 30 minute long conversation that had made Tanya deeply regret every decision that she had made that day. It's not that they were a bore to be around, in fact it was a welcome distraction listening to a conversation without being apart of it.

But Tanya had really wanted to keep touring around the city. Being somewhat isolated recently in a white hospital room had left her with her thoughts for a long while, and she desperately wanted to escape it.

"Well after I was Honorably discharged I needed some money and when I found out this place was hiring I thought I'd take it. Though it was hard at times, being a man but not in the military during wartime gets some stares from people you know? Hopefully with the war ended that will all go away soon." Hans replied.

"If." Tanya mumbled without thinking.

"Pardon Major?" Visha spoke in confusion.

"Hm? Oh sorry I didn't mean to say that aloud." Tanya dismissed. _It's just me being paranoid, it's over, stop thinking about it. _"Anyway." She stood up. "If you two want to keep chatting then I'm going to take a walk around for a bit, get some air."

"Are you sure you're able to Major? In your condition I mean..." Visha said with worry.

"I'll be fine Lieutenant. I'll be back before you know it." She said with a reassuring smile.

XxXx

Russy Labour Camp, Sildberia

"Is it done!?" Kozna shouted.

"Yes, but I tell you that you won-" the man was cut off.

Kozna looked at the man right in the eyes. "I do not care what you think I can or can't do, I paid you to do this for me, so I expect it to be done. Now, give them to me."

The man handed over the fake Identification papers. "Just… Do not say I did not warn you."

"I'll take care not to." Kozna said before walking away to get back inside. "Мудак…"

His plan was nearly complete, he had everything he needed, now was just the waiting game. The letter he had received from "Mr. Z." had given him complete instructions for how to plan his escape. The amount of detail in the letter was extraordinary, as if the man had built it with his own two hands.

The first step was to hijack the generator that powered the camp. It was directly beside the watchtower, that would mean that he would need to watch for the guard stationed there. The letter had explained that the guards swap positions every hour, "To avoid guards falling asleep on the job." The short time that the watchtower would be empty would be just enough time to wreck the generator.

Another point the letter explained was the camp's reliance on electricity due to the extreme cold of Sildberia making heated lights irrelevant, this meant that every single light in the facility was powered by this one box. If he could cut the power, the whole camp would go dark.

Everything from there would be up to him. Kozna decided it would be best if he were to pre-emptively buy identification for him and his children, so that he was not rearrested immediately if someone did not like the look of him and called the police.

All he needed now was a night with no moon and good weather.

Before he went to bed that night he said a short prayer. "Karine please watch over us, our children should not have to live like this… I'm so sorry that I let you down then, but I promise… I will not let you down this time.

With his children asleep and the lights off, Kozna fell into a deep sleep.

XxXx

Bergen-Hohne Training camp, Oldunbegre

Weiss noticed a weird weight in his pocket when he had put on one of his uniforms. "Huh? What is-." He felt around in his pocket until he found a small box of chocolates. "Oh damn it! I forgot to give these to the Major, I'm sure she would have enjoyed these as well…" Weiss chastised himself, he had been back from his visit a few days and only now he realised he had forgot to give them to her.

"I should eat them now shouldn't I? No point in wasting them… It gives me a good reason to go back to that shop and talk to the cute cashie- No! Stop thinking these things Weiss, now's not the time." Weiss was pacing around his small office while talking to himself.

Nuemann and Koenig had heard him and had been sitting by the door the whole time waiting for him to notice them, but he never did. They were desperately trying to hold in their snickering and laughing, finally it was Koenig who succumbed to it and he burst out laughing.

Weiss practically jumped in surprise. "When did you two get here? Have you been listening this whole time?"

"Yes." They said in unison.

Neumann Began talking first. "Having a little girl trouble, are we Major Weiss?"

"Not trouble per-se…" Weiss said, trying to defend himself and failing to come back with a retort.

Koenig was the one that tried to comfort him. "It's all well and good to be worried about the commander, Major Weiss, but thinking about it all the time isn't going to do you much good either. Talk to the girl next you see her! You never know what will happen, maybe something will come of it."

"I suppose you're right." Weiss concluded.

"Me, Neumann and a few others are going to go to the bar for a drink to the Commander's health, want to join us?" Nuemann offered.

"No I'm fine, make sure you don't drink too much though! I wouldn't want the Commander to come back with officers dead from too much alcohol." Weiss waved them off.

"We'll try!" Koenig waved back.

_I want to at least make sure her last order is done to its fullest extent possible _Weiss thought to himself as he sat to do some paperwork.

XxXx

(A/N A new chapter! Finally! I am really, really sorry it has taken so long to update this story, I have honestly lost most of my motivation for writing, but the comments I am getting on it is what is keeping me writing so thank you for your kind words.

This chapter may just feel like some filler and really, it is. I want to build up what the story is leading to but it's hard to think of what to write. I'll try my best to make it as interesting as possible.

On a nicer note, I'm beginning to rewrite the old chapters of this story. When this is published the new Chapter 1 will be published with it. Nothing will change story wise, it is just in a better writing style and with a bit more detail, but I hope you read and enjoy it! Thank you for reading!)

P.s I'm looking for a proofreader who would like to beta read any of my stories, if you are interested, message me on discord at Te#1540.


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